Happy 41st Birthday to me…
Some women don’t like to share their age.
I’m not one of those women.
I’m pleased with the fact that I’ve lived a whopping 41 years. With age comes wisdom and the ability to look at life differently. Things that seemed so important in my teen years, just seem silly now. Stuff I HAD to worry about in my 20’s are all but a distant memory. And now that I’m 41, I don’t have to live my 30’s in fear of being 40. I’ve already arrived.
So this morning, I’m taking a few quiet moments to reflect on this life God has given me.
I started out as this…
That’s me in the middle. Since I’m the youngest child I have few pictures of me by myself.
My Mom was a young Mom. She had my oldest sister when she was only 18. As a new bride and Mother, I’m sure having 4 kids (I had a sister that passed away when she was 6 weeks old) in 7 years was a shock to that young Mother and we basically grew up as my Mom grew up.
I was 16 when my Mom turned 41. Wow!
We lived a simple country life in south Georgia. My Dad owned a used car lot and my Mom stayed home with us, until I was 2 or 3 (but my oldest sister was 8 or 9). She went back to work and I spent a lot of summers with a Nanny, babysitter or at the YMCA.
I don’t ever remember feeling cheated by that. The babysitters were fun, we would swim all morning and watch soap operas all afternoon. And when I got old enough to be dropped off at the YMCA, I would spend my summer days there.
I became an expert swimmer, I could play racquetball with the best of them and even learned a little gymnastics.
There was a lot of turmoil in my family when I was young. My parents divorced and remarried, only to divorce again when I was 13. My Father was an alcoholic and I remember spending a lot of my childhood afraid of him. And being the youngest of 3 girls, was no picnic at times.
But, I also have a lot of good memories as well. My Dad was a lot of fun when he was sober. We always took fun trips and I loved growing up in the country. I developed a love of bare feet, bicycles, trampolines, fishing, exploring, pine trees, bon fires, fish fries, boating, swimming, BB guns, ducks and chickens. Simple things, in a simple time.
I spent most of my childhood outdoors. We didn’t have cable and had few neighbors, so I spent a lot of time daydreaming, pretend playing and making up plays and songs. I used to sit up in a tree by the creek and would sing my heart out, hoping a boat would come by and they would “discover” me and make me a star. That never happened, but it didn’t keep me from dreaming.
After my parents second divorce my Mom moved us to the Big City where I finished high school. I think that was a good thing as well. Small Town Georgia doesn’t lend itself to higher education or not becoming a single Mother.
I was introduced to the suburbs, middle class America, motivated students and limitless possibilities. I was far behind the other students, but for the first time I actually cared about learning and applied myself to education.
But, by the time I finished high school, my Mom was a single Mother barely making ends meet and I had no motivation or money for college. This is my life’s regret.
When I was 20 I met Jesus and that radically changed the course of my life.
I went from being hopeless to hopeful. From a person with lo
w-self esteem to knowing how much I was loved by my Heavenly Father. From few friends to a whole host of new Christian friends.
The Lord changed my path, my thoughts, my purpose and my destiny.
I was motivated to go back to school and even though I didn’t finished, I’m thankful for that short college experience.
The Lord healed my relationships with my family and ultimately lead to meet my sweet husband.
We met in church some 16 years ago. We had an instant connection and I now believe in “love at first site”. He was funny, kind, caring, sweet, Godly and made my life whole. He truly is my better half.
On July 9, 1994 I entered into a covenant before the Lord, family and friends. I promised to be true to him and never leave or forsake him. I made a solemn vow that has held true for almost 15 years.
Did I mention funny? My husband is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. We’re still laughing all these years later. If I could give any advice to my girls, it would be only marry a man that puts God first and makes you laugh. Pretty much everything else will work itself out.
Hubby and I spent 5 years together before our love and God’s grace produced these sweet things…
And let me tell you, them girls are some sweet thangs!!
Well, that brings you up to today.
Yes, I turn 41 today, but there’s so much more.
At this age you start to realize that you’ll never win a Noble Peace Prize, a Pulitzer or American Idol. Dreams of being rich and famous begin to slip away and you’ve long since let go of the Cover Girl Model fantasy.
When get in your 40’s you start to lament everything you haven’t accomplished and you begin to wonder if your life will ever count for anything.
You have to face the cold hard reality of your own weaknesses.
And I have many.
I have a short temper, I’m not a great housekeeper, I frustrate my husband, I have little patience at times, I’m clumsy, I don’t read my Bible enough and I’m only an average cook. I also talk on the phone too much, check Facebook too often and watch too much TV.
I’m far from perfect or even close to where I want to be.
But being forty also makes you realize you’ve got some good stuff too… I’m a pretty good Mom, I’m devoted to my family, I’m well liked by most people, my friends seek my advice, I’ve been a good daughter and sister, I’m honest, hardworking, fun and trustworthy.
I was asked this question a while back and had to take a hard look at myself - “Would I be pleased if my girls turned out just like me?” Truthfully, I hope they turn out better than me, but honestly if they turned out just like me I would be pleased. I’m not being boastful, I fully accept that the only thing worth anything in me, is my relationship with Lord. But, if my girls have that, then I’ll be happy.
I know there’s much more life for me to live. I feel like I’ve only just begun. But, I also have much to feel grateful for. My life is blessed. It’s not perfect, but very blessed. There are some things in my past I wish I could change, but it’s those life experiences that have make the women I am today. And for today, I’m okay with that.
So, when I look at that face, the face of a 41 year old women, I am pleased. It’s not a perfect face, yes there are some crooked teeth, smiles lines and age spots, but it’s my face. It’s the face the Lord chose to give me and I can be content with that.
So, Happy Birthday 41st to me! I pray God grants me many more.
Blessings,
Lara


